today’s walk was purposeful
not that they all aren’t
but I wanted to see the bees
painted on a downtown building
so I adjusted my route and headed a block further south
and there they were, new and vibrant and large
I photographed them before heading on my way

past a jazz band, by the church, through the park
wondering, thinking purposefully 
asking myself if I might want to adjust my own sails
head another direction
despite feeling better today than I have in weeks, perhaps months

can joy become a regularity
or is it a like an extended family member one rarely sees
a once in a blue moon visitor to spend a holiday with
high times but goodbye before the low
I struggle to admit I am allowed

what if everyday, or if not, most days
could be 
more than pacifying myself and appeasement
rather, a reason to rejoice