bloodlust
at the sight
of speckled fawn
bedded down in
forest grass
easy prey
ripe for the picking
the doe does not
know you are around
first bite-
canid teeth sink in
blood smeared coat
griffling rough
three short bleats
silent jawed
teeth sink in
a little deeper
as much blood
as this spotted
baby can afford to spill
the scent of lessen
redbound lessons
less than seven days old
a limpen wound
will slow you down
as the pierced hole
closes on its own
the cry does echo
through the woods
and is lost to time
in diminishing circles
in waves of sound
as spotted fawn
stays crumple-
dazed
blooded
bloodled
bloodlust
brought you down
15 thoughts on "bloodlust"
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rough/first draft- based on a true story.
Can I just say the sounds and rhythm in “the scent of lessen / redbound lessons / less than seven days old” is just marvelous.
This hurts to read, and I mean that as a compliment. Very well done!
visceral
paints the picture
of what goes on in
“nature”
Yes …….what they said !!!!
And 🙂 there’s no such thing as a free lunch we all pay at the end of the counter in some way.
Absolutely excellent draft.
Save the draft in case you mess up the rewrite cuz this is damn good!
by next year this time, there will probably only be about 7 words left.. looking forward to hitting it with the ‘red’ pen. 🙂
thanks all, for reading.
Lol
😭😭😭
You made me watch Bambi All over again 😉
Tight rhythm and stark images, Dustin.
excruciating
Dang, Dustin! This is so vivid and powerful and direct. More of this please.
**no sign of fawncorspe/fawnfall the next day,
so i’m choosing to believe mother and baby
both got away…
I started reading and began to wonder if I could continue and I could not stop—it takes a powerful grip of you. It is an amazing poem.. these words: “the cry does echo
through the woods
and is lost to time
\in diminishing circles
in waves of sound” sent me to a place of endless sadness. Great poem.
Great first draft! Good tension.
love:
the scent of lessen
redbound lessons
less than seven days old
Great job, Dustin! Very well done.
Incredible work–hope they both made it too. “the scent of lessen/redbound lessons” is so freaking amazing in a frame of great movements and windowed sounds, great scene painting though wrenching