CAPTIVITY
Benzodiazepines for relief,
clarity in all things disparity,
I posit my early twilight
after annihilation of gray matter
as though this avatar of mine matters
more than other forms of matter
damnable hubris of ego.
Consciousness defends
arrangements of the moment,
swimming upstream toward cosmic fission,
salmon chasing eternity in small sips,
squint into magnificence of infinity for a glimpse,
squirt roe in mounds of English rows
fulfill biological purposes
for you other dying fish to read over,
breed their own ideas in turn as if anyone cared,
and I can’t stand to read other poetry,
other poets comforting other floaters
as the River cackles at how the dying tackle
meaning in carcasses caressed in rotting current
over and over
and over and over,
how will you curry favor
as you disregard
Her,
me,
to think you’re something unique?
for you other dying fish to read over,
breed their own ideas in turn as if anyone cared,
and I can’t stand to read other poetry,
other poets comforting other floaters
as the River cackles at how the dying tackle
meaning in carcasses caressed in rotting current
over and over
and over and over,
how will you curry favor
as you disregard
Her,
me,
to think you’re something unique?