Cheshire
My father was so blitzed
he couldn’t get the coins
in the slot of the cigarette machine,
they kept dropping
to the linoleum and he kept
bending over to pick them up
and the high school girls
working the burger joint
started laughing at him
so I took steps backwards
to put distance between us
and saw from my new vantage point
the split in his pants
grow like a sideways smile,
white teeth and everything,
grinning again and again
as I kept retreating
until I couldn’t see
anything more of him.
23 thoughts on "Cheshire"
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Wow! Good (well, maybe not so good) slice of life poem.
So this is a very different smile than Alice’s cat. This poem is full of guilt and sorrow and maybe disgrace. It paints such a picture of son denouncing father.
Oh jeez, Bill! This is making me feel some kind of way—my impulse to laugh stifled by sadness and something close to horror. Very skillful poem, almost too much to bear. .
Visceral in a tangible, poignant way. Great work.
Sorry, meant to comment on the poem, not reply 😅
I do that all the time!
Oh wow. I love the title. Such a complicated relationship to the father and a difficult one to put on paper. You’ve done it expertly.
Ha and I did it too, Maira! 🤓
Visceral is the word I would echo.
And the backing away , oh my.
One word comes. Pathos. I see an obliterate man as he is, and a son coming to terms with a kind of shame of association seeing reality stare him down. As if the smile of life is mocking him, evidence in the ridicule around from the high school girls. How many times did I burn at the goofs of my parental units laughed at by peers in my face, that I owned it, and backed away? Very well written.
Thanks, Manny. I’ve been trying to write this one for a couple of years — I’m currently liking this version best.
This is very well done – the smile is such powerful image in the context of this poem.
That it is one sentence let’s the scene build and develop and grow in a certain breathless compelling way. Really well done and thought-provoking.
Oof. Very powerful memory. I’m really in the moment, embarrassed for both of them, sad for the son. Great ending, too.
I agree with others have said. The ending is expert. You are a real pro!
“so I took steps backwards to put distance between us” is really powerful. And especially because it’s one sentence and that’s basically the hinge in the middle of the poem. Well done! I wonder (since you said you’re working on this one!) if you could dig in more at “again and again.” Like, I’m curious if it’s one manic grin that’s only getting wider… or a mistrustful grin that’s flickering closed/open… ya know? Two different images, both ominous. Could be cool. … Title’s perfect. It led me to my brainstorm! Hope it was ok to share. : )
Also / though / and… the sonic echoes of grin, again, him are really good. I’m really into this one!
Absolutely okay to share. Thanks for the ideas!
Ah, now I’m further intrigued
Such a brilliant snapshot. Using the word “split” to not only signify the pant rip but the rip in relationship. The backing away from a parent is so sad. It’s almost a dishonor to the person but also a needed survival tool. This takes my breath away.
It’s those tiny brush strokes of life that really stand out on the canvas. Excellent poem, Buddy.
The shame in this poem floors me, such a hard experience to write about it and you’ve done it so well. I like this version!
Oof.
I felt like I was standing there. Sad. Ashamed. Frustrated. Distancing. Guilty. Chagrin …