This time you get to choose
How badly you want to lose
Exactly how you want to get screwed
And your choice in flavor and type of lube
So we’re watching this debate while
Arguing between who’s more immoral
Or senile
They won’t answer direct questions,
Just backpedal, deflect, lie, avoid
Or freestyle
So before I finish this drink and reflect
And think about how I’ve lost all respect
For the executive branch, and how I’m inclined to reject
Either of the two that remain that we’re allowed to select
I thought of letting my oldest stay up to watch
What could potentially be one of the last
Times before presidential debates become a thing
Of the past
Because what you’re watching live on your TV
Is possibly the beginning of the end
Of this great experiment
In democracy

*Shout out to the Washington Post