All I’ve ever wanted was everything
you can fit in a green electrical box
Maybe we could make the whole place run
Maybe we could risk the shock
If you’ll cry in front of me,
I’ll sit on hot steel with you.

All we ever wanted was a chance to be seen on blow up screens
evading paparazzi with grins on our faces
Instead, stomachs feeling molten pink with cotton candy
Sugar lasts a moment but the aftertaste, long and dank
Going back home and screaming in the middle of the night alone
But even the walls barely shift, maybe they sigh
They’ve heard every word before.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I am stepping past the subway threshold
onto a car of ghosts in mustard-colored suits
when your name rises up from the steam
bears no message, only erupts through my throat,
a thick embalming fog.

I miss warmth. There is no warmth here
only heat and its absence
I don’t know what your hair looks like now
or what singer you decided to fawn over this time
and you don’t know where I am, and I don’t know where you are—

—Train grumbles to a stop
I rarely get knocked off balance anymore,
but a little girl in big sunglasses, a poofy purple coat
nearly knocks me over running through the car
Takes the glasses off, looks straight through me,
Asks: 

“Did you ever dream you were famous?”