Drawing from the Well
“Let the bucket of memory down into the well…”
William Stafford
I remember a time, not so long ago,
when the well of my life seemed fathomless,
when my bucket was not already so full
of aging dreams and aching bones.
Still, it does not seem time to set the bucket aside,
and so I send it down–
I pull up Monet’s lilies; they are bending
around curved walls, and I think,
how I long to see those delicate blossoms for myself!
but L’Orangerie is so far, and I am old now,
and insidious fear sets in
and paralyzes feathery hope,
but
I must try again, I think;
this time I pull up
lilies of the valley, their delicate ivory bells
nodding and bowing on green slender stems;
they are summoning the hours
and they promise spring and, yes, resurrection,
but strange snows have covered any semblance of rebirth,
and besides, dreams come and go, and the only
lilies of the valley I ever knew disappeared years ago,
plowed under,
returned to earth, which, I suppose,
is something of a foreshadowing,
something perhaps of a resurrection.
One more time, I think, as I send the bucket down again,
and this time pull up out of that water,
dark and cool and mysterious–
yet unexpectedly familiar–
a hyacinth of ultramarine blue and an angel, iridescent
like Gabriel’s wings in Fra Angelico’s Annunciation—
Such Unknowing!
Until I turn, and, gazing into the water,
as if in some quantum moment, see
the I am of it all–
6 thoughts on "Drawing from the Well"
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This is a profound and beautiful meditation on aging, well worth reading several times.
Thank you, Carole!
Oh what Wm. Stafford inspired in you! I need to go back and read his poems. Your poem is stunning, capturing those moments in which one has a realization they are getting older—the good, the bad, the beauty of it.
Kim, thank you so much! I guess you never know when a word or a line will spark something in you, and that is certainly what happened with this line from Stafford. I highly recommend reading his poems again! Thank you for your gracious comments on my poem!
Jonel, your poem stimulated my thoughts on what hopes are still brewing within myself to see places I’ve told myself I’d love to see . . . Monet’s Giverny, knowing how much the City of Light is still aglow in my heart now 22 years in my rear view mirror. And the reminders of that insidious fear that sets in
and paralyzes feathery hope . . . may I ever been en courage d to fight it off. Your poem gives me much food for thought after having crossed a BIG Birthday this past June 13th. Thank you for your piece!
Darlene, thank you so much! I guess we poets always hope that our words will reach into the experiences of others and make that connection. I don’t know what “BIG” birthday you just celebrated, but I was just a few months shy of 60 when I went to Europe–solo–for the first time. That was 23 years ago, and the Covid era along with octogenarian realities has put a damper on my unfulfilled travel dreams (although I still love US road trips–also solo.” So yes, keep fighting off that paralyzing fear (it is insidious and will always be there ready to strike!), and by all means make your way to Giverny! And beyond! Thank you again!