equestrian loop
ponytail and cold rolled steel bit
for appearances you : today
teeth hair gold lit shine
at me barely looking
here is where imagination takes
the reins : takes me out
to run in circles dipping under
your flat hand today
saddled : undered
sleep standing up
while you watch gray peripheral
this skipping record scene
nightly daydream toward sunset
together : it goes on forever
the oaks and ocean just keep
going for us : stall door between
convinced a face and gorgeous
word can forge horse dedication
spur scars streaked
self humiliation head down
but please before you go for
the night : clean the packed
dirt from my circle hooves
would you : carve evidence
my labor nearer you
6 thoughts on "equestrian loop"
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I like the way you make
your loop by going straight
down and use creative
colons to bring the poem around
to make rider/horse one
especially love the familiarity of the “would you” and the surrealist syntax
This is fantastic! The sounds are stacked up so beautifully and creatively. Such a gallop! One of your best.
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it’s a love poem. I enjoyed it
I generally dislike horse poems, but you’ve done some skillful stuff here. I like how the limitations and obstructions, whether you meant them or not, or punctuation, of clarity between speaker/subject make this dreamlike. By limiting the line length and eliminating most punctuation you have created a kind of gossamer world where blending is the primary image. Really skillful and lovely.
haha i usually hate them too. i don’t know what possessed me. thank you