I read my grandmothers eulogy 
with the same eyes she had 
and the same expression as I moved my hands 
like she always did 

her eyes are closed now 
and her hands are folded 
cold and unmoving 
her expressions being played 
memories on repeat

old vhs tapes
and scratched cd’s

gospel music fading into the white noise
static and silence 

I read my grandmothers eulogy 
I wish I didn’t have to 
I wish words ceased to exist

I wish I could wail into the abyss 
and maybe if I’m lucky
it will wail back