Fall Beans
The mailman grins as he hands over the package.
I wonder if he is amused by my children’s lack of clothes,
or the wilted clovers eased through my braid.
The seed catalogues boast “heirloom”,
but they all lack what I crave.
Fished from between freezer-burnt hogs’ feet and greens,
shimmery pantyhose resting inside a bag, crumpled by use.
Crooked fingers eased the knot
and pinky-nail sized orbs fell into my hands.
Tiny glacial prizes, speckled red.
After she died, I grasped for her bible
searching for an answer.
I still have it,
pages worn thin by hands not mine.
The comforts I sought weren’t there
but tucked deep in the freezer,
long since lost.
Her hands didn’t grace this seed
and her voice won’t pray over the dirt.
But I clutch the bag tight against my breast,
from the hands of some other mountain beauty,
packaged carefully and addressed to me.
I’ll look to the moon and hope the signs are right,
I have high hopes for these little, red-specked beans.
5 thoughts on "Fall Beans"
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love and loss is the most mysterious human condition to me and brings about the most potent poetry. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this perspective and admire the craft that expressed loss so lovingly
It’s interesting how objects or hobbies can make us feel closer to someone
“Pages worn thin by hands not mine”
I love imagining this, I feel so close to both of you quite suddenly.
“I’ll look to the moon…”
“And have high hopes…”
That’s a delightful turn of the phrase and reminds me of Native American spirituality, their connection with the moon as grandmother. Our grand matriarch showing us how to have hope, how to use magic and how to see the magic all around…that’s what I take from this.
Also the glimpse of what you suppose is the pov of the mailman, bemused at all the wildness. Perhaps taken aback by living so deeply in tune with your feminine divine.
Thank you for sharing. She gave me native bloodlines and a matriarch.
Loss and hope so well shown:
pages worn thin by hands not mine.
Her hands didn’t grace this seed
and her voice won’t pray over the dirt.
I’ll look to the moon and hope the signs are right,
I have high hopes for these little, red-specked beans.