i’m so tired
but i can’t sleep
because the television is too loud and
the remote is too far away from me
the television is too loud and
full of reminders of how small the world is now
how pain and suffering is broadcast
right into the comfort of your own house and you are now
left with the thoughts that you have that keep you awake at night
because every story that comes after is a constant reminder of how much you are all struggling to stay
afloat
but the television is too loud and
the remote is so far away from me
further than i can imagine
from here because there can’t be a world 
where a parent carries all of their hopes and dreams
and love and despair and anguish and suffering and hurt and love
in two plastic shopping bags which used to be one entire person that was here
that was real
and it exists on the same planet where we all sit
and do nothing at all about it
there can’t be a world where i feel this helpless to stop it
there should be no world where you live in fear of dying
because of
who you love
how you worship
who you are
where you live
and i’m hoping that there is a perfect place
somewhere in a world, light years away, where the remote probably is by now
where the television isn’t so loud
the remote isn’t lost forever
and these anchors aren’t so stoic and emotionless
but since i know that i have no control over this
i’ll do what i do when i feel lost every night
i’ll write down these thoughts
turn off the television
and turn off the lights