Do you ever think about that night?
Does it haunt you like it does me?
The way you forced yourself onto my lap
Extracting what sense of self-esteem I had left
Do you think about your mother?
The way she shamed me to cover for you?
I was asking for it, after all

Do you ever think about that other night?
When you called
Bottle of pills in hand
Offering me an impossible bargain
And forcing me to choose
I guess you wouldn’t remember the hospital calling the following morning
Being in critical condition will do that, but
Did you take just enough to spare your life
But enough to ruin mine?
Did you just need a partner to suffer alongside with?
Did I deserve this for being so weak?

These are the questions that I ask myself
Sometimes fantasizing about asking you directly
Well, wouldn’t you know…
Now I have my chance because
There you are again, this time on my screen
Just a single DM away
With a cute boyfriend and a clever handle
Like nothing ever happened

Social media is trying to kill me
Just like our relationship
It’s parasitic and maybe just a little evil
All I can do is clear my search history
And hope to maybe forget the whole thing
Someday