The last time I earnestly prayed was for the sega channel to work. My brother, cousin and i all kneeled down on the green carpet at our grandparent’s house and put our hands together to beg God to let it work so we could play Megaman. It never worked and that’s why I think we all grew up to be nonbelievers.

One of the games that did work that we would turn to after our unsuccessful prayers was this game called Golden Axe. I remember you would look for little hams that would restore your life. We’d hit these little minions at the beginning of the levels with a two piece and biscuit with our axe, hit em with a little 3 piece dinner box and the sound of the axe clanking against their armor and bones made a “frick em frack em fruck em” sound. That sound has comforted me throughout my life whenever I dont like somebody or wanna do something I just say Frick em frack em fruck em.

Thanks Golden Axe. Or should I say Thank God.