He Had A Disease And Didn’t Tell Me  

We were car pooling, 2 second rate comedians
on an adventure to the big city next door
for an open mic in the oldest bar in Louisville, KY.
I heard they were warm and welcoming
to outside comics so I said what the hell.
He drove to my house, got there early,
I said come on in while I finish packing,
cause I have to pack to go anywhere,
extra pads, a change of clothes, alcohol,
booze and food, just in case I break down
out in the boonies and have to wait for triple A
to arrive late. It didn’t take long before we were tooling
along down the highway and it didn’t take much longer
til he asked my advice, which is always very nice,
especially when the man is younger,
about fleas and infestations. I almost slammed
on the brakes and threw his 30+ year flea-bitten
ass out of my car by his little midget ears.
You picked a fine time to tell me you rapscallion
that you have a disease called stupidity.
I tried to be nice and not over react,
I let him stay and drove safely all the way, I think.
But inside I was afear and quite raged,
brain wanting to spit out, vehemently,
how could you do this to me.
No wonder you live at home,
no wonder you are alone,
you’re an ass with no class.
If you had told me you had Aids
I would have been happier.
Damn fleas, it only takes one larval
filled female to drop out of your sock,
where she was quietly sleeping,
into my car, and hop over to me,
cause my fat is sweeter,
my panties cleaner and crawl
in for more rest while she digests,
hang in the elastic waist band
until her belly demands
more blood or her sac is too full
and eggs she starts laying.
Now I have bites and probably tons
of those fucking mites in my car, clothes, home.
I think I am going crazy
because if making no money
and flea-bitten men, dirty
bathrooms and cheap hotels
that smell is the only way
I will become a famous comic
all I got to say is No Fucking Way!
Plus, fleas carry tapeworms
and I don’t need to eat
anymore than I already do.
But just to be clear
the bites may not be from fleas
or his fleas, I have 2 dogs
that I strive to keep flea free,
and I have agarden with mosquitos
and I have spiders everywhere,
because it is bad luck to kill them,
even though I do, so maybe I am just
having some bad luck bites.
But still one shouldn’t associate
with anyone else until they are sure
they are flea, lice, crabs or pin worm free
cause thoses suckers like to be shared
without intimacy.