her golden trap
lean stones here.
without stones-
she will take
limbs piled
light/heavy
down around her
sisters base.
her sister meets
the soil
by way
of greening-
gold is gone.
beneath her green-
her war is
daily waged.
10 thoughts on "her golden trap"
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I love the concision of language here .. compact and tight, and full of imagery
Kevin
I’m fascinated by the visual forms of many of your poems including this one. These systems of laying out the words on the page, the indents, the flush-right/flush-left margins — how do they come to you? Do they have precedents? (I’m thinking maybe e.e. cummings, but maybe not.) Inquiring minds want to know.
i like to have a repeating word,sound, or letter to act as an anchor or spine in a line at a glance down the page.
most of the stuff i’m posting here were written during dawn walks. full of fleeting moments. shifting light and breezy colors. so form also ends up being a feeble attempt to introduce a bit of order to the chaos of each new day..
i’m not sure this answered your question at all… and now that you’ve asked, i’m finding it difficult to explain.. 🙂 some of my notebooks have very rigid systems (good word) of rows and columns.
essentially i’m a square person, who really wants to be more of a circle person.. if that makes any sense.
I love your explanation. I’d like to add that you are a person who takes selfies with bananas stuffed in your hoodie. I still can’t get over it.
Bananas are delicious. Reason enough.
with regard to precedent. yes maybe a little cummings, and i always like the look of a bukowski poem. probably a little bit dickinson too (although i haven’t read either in years).
i’m also equally influenced by the ancient glyph-style writing.(even if i can’t read it) clusters of phrases- and subverting traditional punctuation etc..(which can sometimes feel so final.)
i want these to have a sense of momentum… up and down.. as well as side to side.
Your poems often resemble stacks of twigs or legos on the page. So often I am engaged by them!
a poem as a stack of twigs!
love this image.
at night
at last
……fires
……fire away
……and fly to the multi-verse
(just saying)