Holy Shit!
My newer-cheaply-made-in-China underwear is holy.
Jockey’s my go-to brand for 40 years
now, spring holes that cannot be repaired.
Made of cotton with bands that used to withstand
old washing machines, hot water and toxic detergents,
disintegrate into over-stretched, ill-fitting,
falling down or twisting around garments
after just a few washings. I tried other names,
the results same or worse, all because greed
says make shit shitty cause shitty shit can’t be fixed
and because men don’t seem to care any more
about the quality of my underwear.
Even though I try not to hoard
I put away things I may be able to use again.
I have five or six pairs, leftover from 15 years ago,
I brought out of storage, because I’m not as fat
today as I was last year. These stored bikini’s
barely fit, but at least they don’t put me in a snit.
Even the elastic still has binding powers to it.
You know, not dry-rotted, like the ones I saved
from when I was young, dumb, still having the flow.
Those were crackling and had to go,
but FYI they had no holes.
Anyone out there make custom cotton briefs
that’ll last, at the least, til the day I die
because I don’t want to ever have to buy
another pair of shitty underwear?
8 thoughts on "Holy Shit!"
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I, for one, care deeply about the quality of your underwear, Catherine. Not because I’m going to see it but because you’re much nicer when you’re wearing the good stuff. 😏
Kevin Nance, I for one, want to know how you know when I’m wearing the good stuff, like I have good ones. Oops I may be digging a hole. Maybe this is why I sound angry, even though I’m not, or am I?
Outside the poem, I love how your two submissions so far are “Surprise” and “Holy Shit!”
Within the poem, very entertaining. Your thoughts are very explici–very thorough, and they make a very poignant point as well. I wish you well in your quest for quality undergarments.
Philip,
What a kind wish you have for me, but it is a journey I feel incapable of handling as big box stores bumfuzzle me and kind of freak me out and I end up buying cheap stuff that doesn’t fit. I figure I’ll be naked by the age of 80 unless the clothes I have don’t fall apart. I’m trying to preserve the pairs I have, like hand washing, no dryers. OMG LOL
Love it. Surprised you didn’t consider going commando.
I can’t cause the bladder control pads need support!
Capitalism
From cars to underwear
Made for obsolescence.
Rage rage against shitty underwear
Keeping it real!