there was this scene
in almost every good
eighties movie I had
illegally copied on VHS
where the audience
is looking into a house
where you can tell money
is a little tighter that most
but everyone is home
so the parents have bought
a pizza that a million
children swarm around
and devour 

I can count on my hands
how many times that happened
to me when I was at my father’s
we’d eat and watch
teenage mutant ninja turtles
for the one hundredth time
while he drank way too much
and my stepmother did whatever
all the while I knew it wasn’t 
my home
although all the kids stayed
when I left
neither of my parents
could handle whatever thing
I was

tonight standing in my own kitchen
handing plates of pizza
that we shouldn’t have ordered 
to five of the six kids we have
for a moment I could see us all
through one of our windows
like those movies
all loved
all wanted