How Husbands in Nags Head Shop at Food Lion with Their Wives
She’s in charge of the cart.
Trail six steps behind
baby steps as if your feet are bound
but smoothly as if you’re at ease.
There’s a list. She has it.
Suggestions are presumptively insulting.
You’re not cooking the fucking meal.
Stay in your lane.
Neither pace ahead, nor lag behind.
Don’t toss items into the cart
that aren’t on the list.
It creates an imbalance in the universe.
If you’re given a mission
stick to the mission.
Mission creep will not be tolerated.
No freelancing on flavor, brand, or size.
After checkout, you can push the cart.
Pop the trunk, load it like a bagboy,
feel you’re doing something important.
\But don’t let it go to your head.
8 thoughts on "How Husbands in Nags Head Shop at Food Lion with Their Wives"
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I’m right there with you in this poem!
You set this all-too-familiar scene perfectly. I have to read this to my husband later. He’ll love it!
This strikes a great balance between resistance and acceptance of your fate! 🙂
Love the humor in this! 2nd stanza was my favorite!
Mike, this is hilarious! – “imbalance in the universe” “mission creep” “no freelancing” – You need to read this when we read at A Likely Story!
“stay in your lane” Marvelous expression. I could say it all day.
I love your pitch-perfect deadpan humor. Love ‘Mission creep will not be tolerated.’
Still laughing….love how the first line of each stanza defines the role, especially, “There’s a list. She has it.”
Thank you all for your kind comments!