I Didn’t Flush
I Didn’t Flush
I am so far behind a poem a day
what can I say I have been busy
I had to beat the predicted rain
and mow for 16 hours in 2 days
and then the forecast changed
what can I say I spent almost a whole
day doing nothing I have a ton of work
for a zone map amendment public
hearing with city council presentation
the comedian said you can’t fight
city hall oh what a ball it is to try
even thought the stress
makes me often want to die
I try and I try and I get more confused
I’ve decided apathy is one ideal
way to fix that and it doesn’t make me pee
like weed from a vape does cause I cough
and coughs make my bladder spasm
and it’s about the only time I squirt
cause when I vibrate I gush
and when I pee on a potty or try to squat
it runs and dribbles and flows
over ass cheeks inner thighs
calves OMG my bladder is so mean to me
actually it is that frigging muscle
PC is its acronym pubococcygeal is the P
and let me tell like what can I say
but I can’t find that muscle to save
my soul and I insert balls in there
and try to hold them in and succeed
until I stand then it pops out and rolls
away if the floors are uneven or if I am in public
once one popped out when I started to pee
I was so happy they make newer toilets
differently cause I thought for sure
that was $50 down the drain
like that Chinese algae eater
in Susie Cream Cheese’s tank I cleaned
while she was away and Super Sucker
that was its name was in the filter not moving
so I said dead and put him in one of the dorms
toilets at Lake Erie College for Women
and the bastard woke up from the dead
and shot down the hole in the bottom of the john
and I reached my arm in but he was gone
not like my ball that stayed much closer
like with in arms reach although I pissed
on my arm and I worried for years
about the day the Chinese Super Sucker
would come back up into the toilets
of one of the buildings at that college
or somewhere near and latch
onto some unsuspecting persons ass
and I laughed and I worried Lake Erie
might become its home and it would grow
to the size of the Loch Ness Nellie
and it would be all my fault
and the I guess I told Susie Cream Cheese
I flushed her prized fish
down the drain
but I didn’t flush.
Really I didn’t flush.
4 thoughts on "I Didn’t Flush"
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
i was a bit rapt in terms of how this would resolve.
hang in there.
This is almost like getting to have a cup of coffee with you and catching up. Funny story and the voice is amazing.
This is way beyond good
– a performance piece?
OMG Cathy! You are so outrageous, and funny! I would love to hear you perform this poem!!