I Don’t Want to Scare You
Empty bottles?
CVS receipts?
Buying bottom-shelf bourbon with a credit card.
Sweating nights?
Vomiting mornings?
Hangovers so often you forget there are other ways to feel.
Bargaining?
Lies?
Years spent alone hunched over a drink and a screen.
Pushy texts?
Oversharing?
Acting like the center of the universe, so someone might notice I’m broken and
Fix me.
Voices?
Loathing?
Hours each day convincing myself I want to live.
Catastrophizing?
Alienating?
Knowing the only thing that can help is a drink.
I don’t want to scare you
But its important you understand.
I’ve been to Hell.
It doesn’t frighten me.
5 thoughts on "I Don’t Want to Scare You"
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For anyone worried I’d just add that I am two and a half years sober and doing really well!
Congratulations, Samuel!
Congrats. Very honest poem. I think you covered almost all the bases. Brilliant ending!
Wow- Hangovers so often you forget there are other ways to feel.
And the ending is so strong.
Beautifully written by someone who knows the agony of addiction. Thanks for sharing and am glad you’re sober now!