I can’t wait for this high anymore,
I don’t even want it.

I’ve had it before.
I hit it so hard.

Definitely twice,
And I think one more time,

God was it euphoric,

I could dance around the kitchen
Without an ache in my toes.

I slept like a
Baby,
And smiled until my cheeks
Bruised.

But the come down
Destroyed me.
I’m talking absolutely obliterated,
Crushed down into a mere pulp.

I pieced myself back together–
Once,
But it was way too soon.
The glue hadn’t dried,
So naturally, nothing stayed put.

And after having to clean up
That mess
And realizing some things break
And aren’t meant to be fixed,
I sit there,

Stone cold sober,

And I pick up the shards of me
One by one,
Shredding each and every
Fingertip.

I leisurely like to think about,
Just how good
It felt to be suffocated by arms
You loved too much.

And that sting in my chest
Thrived,
Even knowing those arms
Did not hold me the way
Mine held his.

And then I think about me now,
Sitting here remembering 
How good that it
Felt,
And just how sad I am
Now.