how many times
do i need to apologize
for the things i didn’t do,
for the ways i could’ve
loved you better,
for the impediments of my being,
of my soul, of my love?
how many times
do i need to utter
these words so that i
can wake up next to you again,
until i can say i love you
& hear your whisper back,
until i can cradle your back,
wrap my arm around you,
& be comforted by my head
on your chest?
what do i need to do
to be able to fool myself
with the masquerade
of your love?
i promise, i’ll do it all