In the Discomfort Zone with Wendy Jett
The Senior Center exercise instructor on Mondays is chill, very namaste, but on Wednesdays it’s Wendy, who probably never said namaste in her life. She’s got iron gray hair, two sleeves of tattoos & buns of steel, the last of which she says we need, too. Squeeze those butt cheeks, she yells like a drill sergeant, squeeze ’em! We obey as best we can, squeezing to the oldies from all the best eras—”Downtown” by Petula Clark, “Stop! In the Name of Love” by the Supremes, “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, all synced to thirty beats a minute—but the music can’t keep us from dreading where she’s taking us, into what she calls our Discomfort Zones, where we trade pain for gain.
my butt cheeks burning
like a pair of rubber tires
in a trash barrel—
The hardest part, which Wendy says is just as much for our brains as our bodies, is picking up her combinations of marching, walking, squatting & lunging, which she’d never admit is choreography. It calls for coordination & rhythm & a smattering of grace, not much of which most of us have because our brains are just as atophied as our bodies. Might as well be line dancing: Up, back, out, in, up! Up up back back in in out out back back in in out out up up! Jesus Christ. Squeeze the big yellow ball between your knees & with your right hand, toss the little blue ball in the air! Now squeeze the blue ball between your knees & with your left hand, toss the yellow ball in the air! Turns out the Discomfort Zone has many precincts. Stay in your body! Think about what your arms & legs are doing, not what’s outside that window!
There’s a robin’s nest
swaying in the tree outside
wish I was in it—
We know Wendy’s got a kind heart under that full metal jacket, drumming from inside like the Tin Man’s. We wish she could be our sergeant when the moment comes, leading us into the Discomfort Zone for our final battles with the enemy, time. Till then we sneak peeks at its advance on the gym clock, ticking down toward the end of this skirmish: cool-off, our favorite part. Give yourself a hug, she says, & we lift our arms up & out like a robin’s wings unfurling, lay them gently across our heaving chests. Now pat yourself on the back.
unexpectedly
I feel stronger, almost good—
give myself a hug
37 thoughts on "In the Discomfort Zone with Wendy Jett"
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Awesome! So effective: the narrative and haiku in succession, modeling an intense workout with brief and very welcome breaks.
Love “ Turns out the Discomfort Zone has many different precincts.”
Laughed out loud!
Thanks Bud! This was a hoot to write, and Wendy really is tough as nails, not to mention a really good writer.
Love it! also love use of the hybrid form
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Linda directed me me to this.
She just said ” Kevin’s got a good one”. I was laughing so hard I’m had to put my phone down, just from reading the title.
” Oh hello, it’s know what this one’s about!” Lololololololol.
Great haibun Kevin. So wonderful and sooo wonderful. 😀
Thanks Coleman! Glad you enjoyed it. I knew I couldn’t make it through June without writing a haibun. Maybe I should call this one a haibun-of-steel!
Lololololololol
A very satisfying read! The whole haibun feels like a physical workout. The piece gets more and more poetic especially in the last prose section. I love Wendy. I admire her on many levels. I’m too chicken to sign up for one of her workout sessions. Great poem!
Thanks Linda. I adore Wendy too. And you.
Haibun(s) of steel! This poem is incredible. The narrative, the way we are immersed in the moments leading up to and in the discomfort zone, is brilliant. I love this!
Haha, you’ve solidified it now. Haibun(s) of steel! ❤️
😆 Excellent!
lol, yes! “Haibun(s) of steel!”
You captured Wendy so well! Love it!
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Yes! Haibun(s) of steel! Absolutely. Love “squeezing to the oldies.”
“my butt cheeks burning
like a pair of rubber tires
in a trash barrel—” If I ever have a bad day, this will get me through!
Thanks Sylvia! That first haiku is my favorite, even though it’s not exactly a flattering self-portrait 😏
A fun and wonderful read. Nice one, Kevin! Were you sore afterwards?
Definitely, Bill! 😏
Yes–Hai(buns) of steel! Love the humor, the specific old songs mentioned, and the play of the prose chunks against the haikus. Love the play between the humor and the realities of aging such as “…our brains are just as atrophied as our bodies.”
This haiku particularly struck me:
There’s a robin’s nest
swaying in the tree outside
wish I was in it
Thanks Karen! I’m going to email you about an erasure I wrote yesterday. Need your expertise.
Great narrative with many sensory details that made me feel like I was there and out of breath.
Thanks Virginia!
This is great, especially because I know Wendy, and she’s awesome. (I’m not going for her exercise classes bc using Wheels wastes so much time! I use Wendy’s videos on YouTube. LoL)
Squeeze the big yellow ball between your knees & with your right hand, toss the little blue ball in the air! Now squeeze the blue ball between your knees & with your left hand, toss the yellow ball in the air! Turns out the Discomfort Zone has many precincts.
This is wonderful. Puts me right there in the studio. Thanks ever so much for this poem. It has brightened my day.
Thanks E.E.! Seems like everybody knows Wendy. She’s a gem, ain’t she?
Great title!
Agree with Linda, “The whole haibun feels like a physical workout. ” I panted, laughed and was terrified throughout starting with “on Mondays is chill, very namaste, but on Wednesdays it’s Wendy, who probably never said namaste in her life”
The haikus support throughout!
Could feel this one: “my butt cheeks burning
like a pair of rubber tires
in a trash barrel—”
Thanks Pam! Glad to entertain you, seriously ❤️
Wonderful! I enjoyed this so much—the rich imagery and humor and personality. So cinematic. Great form, too!
Thanks Michele! Wendy’s class is indeed cinema at its best.
Very fun read! Well done!
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Shew! Kevin, I love this. It showcases your humor and paints such a vivid scene. So many lines I enjoyed here but yes:
“squeezing to the oldies” to Petula Clark and
“my butt cheeks burning
like a pair of rubber tires
in a trash barrel—”
Fantastic. xD
Thanks Shaun! That’s me, ol’ rubber tire butt! 🤣
Kevin, you are a lean, mean Haibun machine. Write on.
Thanks Wendy, for the compliment and for such a good sport about this. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.
Well done, Keving, with lots of great imagery and realism sprinkled throughout. I love: “but the music can’t keep us from dreading where she’s taking us, into what she calls our Discomfort Zones, where we trade pain for gain.”
Thanks Greg!