Life On Hold
How do you cope
when your
body is on fire
and it won’t be
put out
for weeks?
I wake up exhausted
in the mornings.
Pain wakes me up
in the middle of the night.
Car trips over an hour
are pure hell.
There is no discrete way
to ice one’s hemorrhoid
at work
(so I don’t).
My concentration is shot.
I pretend to work.
I stop writing.
I drop all my major projects:
personal, spiritual, career,
all of it.
Some days
the ice packs
and the ointment
help.
Some days they don’t.
I don’t feel human.
I don’t feel real.
I don’t feel seen.
I feel abandoned.
I am waiting to pick my life up
again
where I left it months ago.
I resent living in this much pain.
I resent living
a life on hold.
3 thoughts on "Life On Hold"
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Bless your heart, Josie!
Appreciate your vulnerability with this. I hear all that pain begging to be seen.
Living a life on hold with pain! So difficult!