Love always, Heidi
Hiding in my room crosslegged on the floor
On the side of my bed you can’t see from the door
(in case anyone walked choosing not to knock first)
When you’re told by the older ones that they will
Tell you what to think and feel
Even tho you’re now fifteen but you’ve heard that
As long as you can remember
And for so long you’ve managed to keep the truths
Inside and unheard by anyone who might be near enough to hear
And at the end of each day you release the words with anything
Sharp enough to open the skin but in places only I can see
(because the questions couldn’t possibly be answered)
And let loose in red all the real feelings
And then she moved in because my family took in stray people like
Most people take in stray animals
Her laugh was like a million tiny bells ringing and her singing was ethereal
When she smiled at you her eyes said I know
And no matter the words that spilled from her
There was the whisper of I know that only I could hear
Long walks and late nights and private jokes
I was an archaeologist exploring her vinyl collection
Her favorite songs became my favorite songs
And even today my playlists will tell you
More about me than my own words ever could
(My only musical talent is picking good music)
Today she lives 1041.17 miles away and in my head
But a phone call will find me holding her close
And if ever I thought it was time to let go
Of this world
Her voice brings me back
And gives me a reason
One thought on "Love always, Heidi"
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So many wonderful lines–
“And no matter the words that spilled from her
There was the whisper of I know that only I could hear ”
“I was an archaeologist exploring her vinyl collection”
“And let loose in red all the real feelings”
And, of course, the wonderful last two. Beautiful!