tonight, i undulate with the tide—-
becoming a mother, the mother,
the only way possible:
permitting consumption

long ago, she birthed me,
abandoned me, rejected me
into the sand as if
she wasn’t there to carry me

                                                      she
                                                            wasn’t
                                                                        there
                                                                                 —-
                                                                        your
                                                         mother
                                                 died

the magnolia delivered the news
that i had another mother,
not the ultimate mother,
a once-living mother

now, the only comfort was to be consumed.

the horizon of ocean
spread out like the broken jaw
of a corpse—-this
was my only mother now,
& my heart could no longer remain
separate
her salty drops sting
my eyes like teeth
brought under & spun
until she & i were one—-
the grief was not conciliated

she spit me out
dizzy
i wanted my once-living mother,
the now-dead mother,
not this beast of a mother:
me as a mother

yet when i looked to the sky,
the sun was still setting,
& i guess that’s a mother, too