first meeting
     I’m relieved he’s dating you.  I thought he was gay!

wedding guest list
     my friends require an extra banquet room

decor decisions
     he will be devastated without yellow table cloths

severe allergy food preparation
     the onions are finely chopped in all four salads

pregnant with her granddaughter
     you look like a prostitute in that photo

healthy lifestyle
     how’d you lose ALLLL that weight?!  are you taking pills?!

speaking my mind
     hahahhahahhaha!  you’re soooo tired!

my dad dying of cancer
     if you don’t go to LA it will ruin my plans for Christmas

today
     your face doesn’t even look like you anymore