New Moon Intervention
We stood together barefoot,
hand-in-hand,
in the mostly darkened night
Lightly lit by a mixture
of streetlights
and the somethings of the sky
Feeling the warmth of her mere
existence
ignites the lost light in me
Where we unify our breath,
waiting for
the New Moon to set us free
Dried ground and sharp blades of grass
stabilize,
extracting, and we release
Together we ask the earth
to absorb
the pain; take what we don’t need
Moments after hugging tight,
our request
accepted by Mother Earth
The last clinging connection,
sliced by last
attempts to menace our worth
Through recognizable tears,
we embraced,
as familiar villains strike
Our souls sit with a knowing,
the New Moon
intervention mode… ghostlike
*(this feels unfinished, but not sure where to go…)
5 thoughts on "New Moon Intervention"
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Together we ask the earth
to absorb
the pain; take what we don’t need
I deeply appreciate this “prayer.” Sensory details can strengthen a poem, and you have some lovely ones. The tactile details are wonderful. I love the dirt and dry grass — a great way to anchor a prayer to the the forces of nature.
waiting for
the New Moon to set us free
Ending? the “villians strike” is strong, but I’d love to know what those villians are. I wonder if you could give us a few? I think they’d fit after this stanza, but of course, this is just my opinion. I hope it’s helpful. This is a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it.
OOOOps. I meant THIS stanza:
sliced by last
attempts to menace our worth
Details of who or what is menacing, who are the villians, and put “familiar villians strike” as a strong ending. Does that make sense? I hope that’s a little helpful. <3
Thank you so much! For all of this.
Yes! Makes sense. I actually really like that idea. To pull and separate, making the stanza it’s own with more “information.” I am going to play around with that.
I started to feel a little… frazzled at the end, not knowing where to insert. So, this is very helpful 🙂
Maybe I will take that line and make a “Part 2” for tomorrow… Villains exposed! 🙂
Poignant and wistful. Rich word choice and sensory images support engaging narrative. Moon is personally captivating. Appreciate your admirable work
I love it how it ends on “ghostlike!” and “and the somethings of the sky” is another great line.