On Hold
1
I wake up in the morning
& wish it were night, the day
yet to come.
2
The light above the mirror
burns out & I leave it that way,
a shadow on the glass.
3
It’s June but the calendar
is still on March, the pages
too heavy to turn.
29 thoughts on "On Hold"
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the shorter third lines, including the monosyllabic endings, do make the stanzas and poem sound heavier and more conclusive
Thanks Gaby. Good insight.
Dang!!
Yeah, it builds well to the packed tight and heavy third.
Crafted stack!!
It’s June and you are firing
on all cylinders.
Thanks Coleman! I decided the limericks I was going to post needed a cold shower. 😏
Lololololololololololol
The weight and tension build with this one. I love that last stanza.
Thanks H.A.!
Very effective!
Thanks Chelsie!
These are characteristically profound. I really feel the weight of the third haiku!
Thanks Linda! I’m giving the profound the slip tomorrow on my way to the gutter 😏
Kevin, this is the perfect capture of title: the wishes and the weight. I felt like I was holding my breath when I got done reading.
Thanks Sylvia! That’s a big compliment.
The poem builds and builds in totally relatable ways. I think many of us feel the weight. That last stanza is brilliantly sad.
Thanks Rosemarie! I do think the political situation has something to do with it. I’m holding my breath until—
Yes, the weight certainly comes through here. The poem’s length and the everyday words chosen do that.
Everyday words—yes. I suppose that’s my diction. Sigh…
As all else have said, each builds on the last until the weight of that last is….heavy indeed.
Great title. Great collection and order.
Thanks Joseph!
Just as others have said, you create that weight we see in the final section with well-weighted (pun intended) words!
That second section is my favorite…mystery there.
Thanks Pam.
this poem definitely fits the mood of the country now!
Thanks Linda.
I agree with Linda! THat last line was percussive and it lingers.
Thanks Shaun!
Whoa, Kevin! You say so much with precision. No words in this that aren’t “earning their rent.” And the last line, a zinger. Relateable. So very relateable. Thank you!
Thanks E.E.!
Agree with the others, Kevin — this builds to a triumphant last stanza. So nicely crafted.
Thanks Bill!