You know there’s still time to run

Angry splatters of red
creep across the TV screen
underlined by scary words
like severe and heavy
while a list of counties
slides along the bottom

In case of a tornado
a meteorologist reminds you
to DUCK

get DOWN
get UNDER
COVER your head
KEEP in shelter
until the storm
has passed

Effective words indeed
however sometimes
the storm still
finds a way
to get
you

and even then
…

What if that storm is inside you? What if
you can’t escape because you carry it
with you? What if you allow yourself to be
your own atmospherical disturbances?

Gale force anxiety hits at destructive speeds
and self-deprecation pelts you with baseball sized hail
and nobody will blame you if can’t go outside for a while
when you sense the pressures shifting

and you know
there’s still
time
to run
or hide

it is so much
easier
after all
…

But I?
I don’t want to do that anymore
because it’s what I always do.
It’s what I’m tempted to do again
never holding on long enough
to get up close and personal
with the storm,
learning why it becomes so vicious
and maybe then
I can figure how to take a hit
or to fight without
the option of ‘-or-flight.’

To STAND up
get OVER my fears
OPEN my mind
And LET GO
of self defense mechanisms
that help me survive
but won’t let me thrive
…

No. There can be no more running
if I hope to one day
achieve the dreams
that got me going in the first place.

No more running
because the next storm
is always coming.

No more running
when I create the storm myself.

There can be
no
more
running.