On the Dizain Train
I have the kind of peers who pressure me
to write my poems in forms like this dizain.
It’s time to take a break from therapy.
Feeling too much too fast makes me insane.
I have some memories I can’t explain.
I need to write some songs that I can’t sing.
I’m like a buzzing bee that wants to sting
someone, something. I know that I will die
after my stinger’s gone. Changes nothing.
Like Icarus, I only want to fly.
16 thoughts on "On the Dizain Train"
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Damn it, Tom! Do you HAVE to be so good at EVERYTHING? 😏
This poem stings like a bee.
“I’m like a buzzing bee that wants to sting someone, something.” – love this line, Tom!
Excellent! Love the reference to Icarus. All 10 lines.
I totally get the lines “I have some memories I can’t explain./I need to write some songs that I can’t sing.”
Dizain is new to me. Nice. Will have to try. Thank you.
I, too, relate to the buzzing bee
This is a great poem from start to finish. I love the movement from the bee to Icarus.
Also, your title sparked some memories for me. I used to live in the Bronx and take the D train to work and night classes in Manhattan. You’ve inspired me to write about that commute. Thanks for that!
LOL, I used to live in Manhattan and take the D train to work in Brooklyn.
Aaaah!!! We were both heading in the same direction!!
Small world, Tom and H.A. I live in Brooklyn and take many trains into Manhattan.
well done! inspiring!
Choo! Choo! The poem chugs along the track form gathering speed as it goes until we take wing. I echo Kevin’s first line.
Note to self: change line 6 to “I need to write the songs I need to sing” and consider changing line 9 to “I need to write the songs. I need to sing.” Change “wants” to needs” in line 7.
I love the tension between structure and the content. You do break through and the ending certainly flies
love the tension and emotion contained in “I’m like a buzzing bee that wants to sting someone, something”
Wonderful! You nailed the dizain.