Pantoum for One Gone Too Soon
You fell out of time when you fell
from that cliff, a frightened scream, then down,
your clock stopped at twenty-six bells,
lilly blossoms this season abound.
From that cliff, a frightened scream, then down,
the field of your future lies fallow,
lilly blossoms this season abound,
the old sow and her last litter wallow.
The field of your future lies fallow,
all stories must have endings,
the old sow and her last litter wallow,
the obits are not mending.
All stories must have endings,
your clock stopped at twenty six bells,
the obits are not mending,
you fell out of time when you fell.
14 thoughts on "Pantoum for One Gone Too Soon"
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Bill, you capture deep sadness with this one, and yet, the words somehow flow so lightly on the page. That is a masterful demonstration of craft. The form is perfect for amplifying the poem’s tone. A stunning piece. Thank you for sharing it.
There’s also something special about the way you use form to put form to something unform-able and it is stunning.
Masterful use of form, Bill. I’m just blown away by how you have chosen to express yourself through fixed forms this month, and the lines of this poem just stay with you: “The obits are not mending,” and “the field of your future lies fallow.” Just stunning.
So well crafted, Bill!
The line “all stories must have endings” will stick with me: simple and true and a hub around which the other parts of this poem revolve, for me. Well done!
love the way nature extends the tone: “the old sow and her last litter wallow”
Yes to what Lee said. Your use of forms has been so good. (Although I have enjoyed them all, forms or not!)
I am greatly moved, Bill. Hurts hard.
Love what Shaun said about what you do: “to put form to something unform-able” Yes you do!
I fall into the loss with: “You fell out of time when you fell
from that cliff” and the scream pierces.
Achingly stunning: “The field of your future lies fallow”
I love pantoums, and you ‘ve used the form to such good use with this poem.
The field of your future lies fallow,
What a sterling line. That’s a gut punch. Thank you so much for sharing this haunting pantoum.
Beautiful tribute in a beautiful form, Bill. Stanza 3 stabbed me in the heart.
Beautiful. A perfect last line: “you fell out of time when you fell.”
What a heartbreaking, beautiful pantoum!
Beautiful. Poignant. Hurts deeply, relatable personally. I had to walk away, then return to write this comment. Impeccable craft. That final line brings it home to me. Thank you for sharing this admirable poem. Be well, Bill
Thanks for the comment, L. I appreciate the kind words.
Love your use of form and emotions!