The table outside is covered with chips
Pop and grilled-out food
My Nanny scurries
And my Paw-paw keeps going to the outbuilding to get more ice cream sandwiches
The day is hot and everybody is there
This was probably the last outing I remember where everyone was there
I ride my chunky plastic motorcycle around the house a few times
It’s loud, then it’s quiet
It’s loud, then quiet
The transition is cool, I ride faster
Sudden loudness
Sudden quietness
I throw it in the yard
Go inside
I head into the sew room
There’s a bunch of old toys in a tote in there
I look through
I feel a heaviness in the house, I run out
It was always so heavy in there
Something was always chasing me
I’m still little enough where i’m referenced quite a bit
And I have chocolate all over me
My cousins are here, I love that I swing with them
I’m back on my plastic cycle
I’m behind the outbuildings
I hear the creek running
And see it move over the rocks
I carry my vehicle up the hill and back behind the house
I hear the buzz of that weird building in the yard
That I imagine has a chipboard and a control man
On the inside
It’s loud to me
Very loud
I go to the front porch
No one ever uses
And sit in the muffled silence of loud family noises
The fake grass is scratchy and the bees surrounding the flowers become worrisome
I don’t remember eating anything
I don’t remember leaving
I probably fell asleep