Says the teller in fatigues
through a flexi-glass plane
but I’m not paying attention 
I know the rigamaroll
by now 
the free swag is speaking louder 
the pin with a green brain with a little green heart in it that reads:
“MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS LET’S TALK, LET’S HEAL, LET’S FEEL”
and the one clean pen in a can
with a feather at its end

The kiosk is a computer with a cheap privacy screen
The questions come as I navigate
Like I have ten times before 
but wait
There’s more!
Some of the questions read:

– where are you? we need the EXACT ADDRESS NO FUNNY BUSINESS
    so I gave them the Domino’s down the street

– who referred you? 
   well, me, I referred me, but I understand the need lets continue

– What is your Sex? 
   well good howdy, you gonna take this trans-woman out to dinner first before you pull a         Hegseth on her? I’ll take the psychic damage, for now only cus I know what they’ll ask           next

– Are you Pregnant? Pregunte, Preganant, Preggers, Pegnate, Gregnant?
   sure, why not? this’ll confuse ’em

– How many kids do you have? 1, 2, 3-5, 6-10, 11+!
    hell, let’s go with 11+, those idiots will think it’s a miracle

– What is your sexual preference? Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Not applicable, other?
    I put a check in “Other”
    At this point, I’ve already been on the worst first date
    a computer ever took me on
    And I just want somebody’s brain to explode

– Do you smoke? Do you drink? How much do you drink? Is it a whole lot or just a little bit?
    God, I’m starting to wish I hadn’t quit
    If you could lend me some strength, I could knock this building down
    No, okay, then maybe just the computer desk?

And it goes on like this, one awkward question at a time

– Does your Behavioral Health provider read your assessment answers and go over them with you?
   
 I’d like to see them try