Residue
*Trigger Warning: Violence, Blood, Classrooms, Secondhand Trauma*
The red remains
staining linoleum, off-white brick.
Someone had left
solvents, a mop, Clorox
wipes, after cleaning
half an hour.
Staff were gone.
Students were gone.
I remained and kept
finding more. Spots,
spatter
on desks, in chairs, in cracks
where walls met floor,
in topographical anomalies
of brick—high, too high
up the wall. I remained
and kept
cleaning.
The kids were gone, all
the kids, including
the two who had erupted
into violence.
I was okay. I felt okay.
None of the shakes that follow
an emergency, the Doppler Effect
of time stretching, like un/breaking
taffy, the release and withdraw
of hormones, until it’s over and then,
only then, the trembling.
I was okay.
The next day, I was okay
and slept
five hours in the middle
of the day.
The next Monday, I slipped
back into the classroom.
Sat at my desk. Silence.
I was okay. Everything
was clean. Ordered.
I was okay.
I was okay
and shaking.
14 thoughts on "Residue"
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I like how you take us so close — into the cracks where the wall meets the floor. I like how you are revealing the details like someone in shock and hinting at the end that you really aren’t OK. Good writing!
Thank you. And right on in your reading.
That perspective. Being the one who orders and holds it all together so others can be not okay. I both can and cannot imagine this literal horror. It’s a gutteral poem.
Thank you, Arwen.
Likewise, more than this.
Joseph – Such a tender touch with words on such a horrific situation. I like the line breaks and the separation of the word “spatter.” It seems to explode all by itself, which I’m sure was your intent. We definitely do not pay teachers enough! Thank you for writing this!
Thank you, Sylvia.
Not sure why it came today, but.
Thank- you for an insider’s perspective!
*nods*
Thank you, Linda
“topographical anomalies
of brick”…what one may notice in a state of shock
Right?
Was stuck on that image
We teachers, often also empaths by nature, experience a lot of trauma that nobody really talks about/ helps us process. Thank you for expressing that.
Agreed. Thank you for reading 💙
This one brings tears.
😢 yea