*Although not truly an Epic poem as there are no heroes or wondrous deeds, I had a blast toying with why this is a thing. It is a story so it is quite lengthy. Just a silly ponderance I had yesterday. Happy Friday!

I drift to fly above the scene
floating freely as if in dream
watching detached but still serene
curious but I do not scream

My physical bo-dy lies prone
none to find me broken alone
neck twisted exposing the bone
dead in the bathroom of my home

My legs are spread all akimbo
beneath the small plate glass window
vagina bared like a bimbo
as I hover high in limbo

Nothing left for me to do here
I wander away without fear
complete content to disappear
hightailing my ass out of here

As I hazily drift away
I say to myself with dismay
where is this damn white light they say
am I going in the wrong way?

Drifting traveling through the air
I’m pleased to find I still have hair
then I become oddly aware
I’m naked without underwear

Embarrassed by my unclothed state
In pudica I drift and wait
for the floodtide of creepy mates
whose indecent stares I do hate

Are there more of my quandary
that find themselves without laundry
an afterlife that’s quite tawdry
I believe death may have wronged me

I met a lady who’s older
that reached out and touched my shoulder
you’re nude she stated but bolder
those titties they need a holder!

How do I fix this I ask her
my voice barely a soft whisper
au naturel causes a stir
even though I am a just blur

To the bootique with you my friend
to buy something to wear and then
you will be more comfortable when
you are covering your rear end

She pointed her ghostly finger
to the store where I could ringer
I hastened as to not linger
Hesitating should I bring her?

I entered a store most dreary
though the sales lady was cheery
may I help you my sweet deary
I nod in reply but leery

What you see is what you can get
to purchase you have time to bet
against the clothes to pay your debt
Choose wisely to avoid regret

I don’t understand I retort
are you joking is this a sport
you extend your time in this port
when you buy something here she snorts

Understanding the dark exchange
I pick an item and go change
unsure the size is in my range
as my form has rearranged

That piece is quite current she quips
a smirk fluttering on her lips
you’re sure you wish to pay for it
thirty five years is quite a bit

That long for such a simple dress
I stutter in total distress
do you have something that is less
to shorten my stay in this mess?

Of course sweet girl on that far rack
to the left at the very back
a selection of white or black
though modernity they do lack

My heart was filled with mounting dread
believing I had been misled
all the dresses of musty threads
from around the eight-teen hundreds

Every skirt with a bustle
corsets that pinched at the muscle
fabric skirts that loudly rustle
I scoffed at the lousy hustle

Those are quite cheap I assure you
only two years to get you through
and they’re very fun if you do
use them to haunt and to say boo

Bewildered by her odd statement
I asked the lady what she meant
she laughed in joyous merriment
explaining that’s how hauntings went

Humans on earth claim that they see
White or black dresses of ladies
they don’t realize our sheer glee
pretending it’s eight-teen eighty

Why would we dare do that I ask
wearing such clothes is quite a task
too heavy and hot just to bask
for causing a fright or a gasp

Because it’s an absolute hoot
to appear in an ancient suit
and watch them scurry and to scoot
and give an old house ill repute

Did you not ever wonder why
most of the ghosts that they do spy
tend to be from a time gone by
misty vapors that sometimes cry?

Many poor souls die in the nude
a shocking moment that is rude
what can they do besides be lewd
or shop here where they can be prude?

Time is precious but we don’t learn
until too late and in an urn
if we do not ascend or burn
we learn to laugh instead of yearn

Noone wishes to be here long
averse to spend more than a song
for frocks them carry them along
until the day they say so long

So they buy from the very rack
that is located in the back
and don the ancient white and black
on their breasts and upon their back

We inspire the t.v. shows
the seances and all the prose
the evp sounds that suppose
that we are dressed in our real clothes

I pondered what the lady said
what’s it matter I am still dead
it might be fun to spook and tread
maybe even shake someone’s bed

It is quite cheap this silly shroud
and it reduces time allowed
though I know not the length or how
I must remain here for the now

Let this be a lesson to you
what you see is not all that new
I bought this cheap dress that is used
just so that I may be amused

By your proclamations of ghosts
of the spectors that you will boast
but what I really love the most
is the two short years I have to host