sometimes the near-misses hit me still 
as hard as any real thing could have,
one of the relics my old friend Anxiety likes to dangle like an overfilled keychain
rattling my ear

today?  it was only a small thing, quickly corrected, no harm no foul
but the the potential of harm, to anyone I love
shakes me still
still
frozen, slow moving as a glacier while brain tries to let body hold it in a bear hug
shadowboxer neurons with eyes closed
can you faint and fight at the same time?

i force myself to pause… to take stock of truth… try to shift the rock on my chest

it’s all right, all is right, all will be well
it was only a near miss afterall

but still
i hold pebbles in my hand