Stockholm Syndrome
Her name is Penelope and I met her 8 years ago.
She has lightning between her eyes and a beige
stain around her collar.
She stalks me as she watches me move through life,
judging the way I walk across the floor. Trying to
anticipate my steps.
If I’d known I’d be walking on eggshells, I would
have left her in Colora, where the skies were blue
and the cloaks were white.
And a toothless boy whose daddy was dead told
me he’d kill her if I ever left him, who trotted me
through town as proof he was wanted,
who lied to his mother while laying on top of me.
Penelope rolled her eyes and sharpened her claws
and when she took a swipe at him I smiled.
I knew I couldn’t turn off the road into a live oak
when I remembered she was back home under the bed.
so I woke up each morning and fed her and kept calling
my mom, but I’m covered in scars I wouldn’t have if I’d
left her in that box on the side of route one when I was
a girl and red Chevy trucks didn’t cause me to flinch.
6 thoughts on "Stockholm Syndrome"
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Hmmmm…I love the end! Using the physical scars from the cat as a metaphor for the emotional scars is unique.
But I feel like you need a tad more clarity of what happened to you. Don’t back away from it. If something leaves a person with Stockholm Syndrome (aka “trauma bonding”), your readers deserve to hear what happened and how that made you feel. Were you left with that “bonded” feeling that came with the trauma? I don’t feel that yet. I perceive you are bonded to Penelope, but I don’t FEEL any “bonding” with your abuser.
Does that make sense?
Alternatively, if there was no “bonding,” perhaps the title should be PTSD?
That’s a really interesting perspective. I’ll have to take that into consideration! I like the idea of a reader questioning what really happened, but I definitely could provide more clarity.
The reader is not owed clarity unless you wish to provide it.
The layered and complicated relationship with your cat and this pain is beautifully written and rendered.
Powerful, clear-eyed narrative in this poem.
Thank you Shaun!
Really great narrative and language. It took me to read a couple times before “getting” it, but when it clicked I found you shared a powerful story!