stump speech #3
gospels of prosperity-
married to a whore
twenty tweny four.
8 thoughts on "stump speech #3"
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gospels of prosperity-
married to a whore
twenty tweny four.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
the internal ä assonance of line 1 grow into the stronger ô rhyme of lines 2 and 3
do you think that is a ‘good’ thing? or should 1 and 2 be flipped? i keep going back and forth 🙂
i want to ‘hook’ them with that word ‘gospesl’ instead of repel them with such and early use of ‘whore’…
My vote would be to keep them as they are.
Transpose lines 1 and 2 and you have a traditional haiku. But who cares about tradition? L’chaim, Dustin!
also i’m sex positive… (free melania?…marriage as shackles…i’m still not sure)
so i like the sense of her being trapped
the middle line-
locked to the rhyme.
I think is perfect.
Agreed
Love these haiku/senryu/whatever ye shall name them