A month ago tomorrow, I had no idea what I was going to go through that day
Realizing that my son had done something to harm himself
Calling EMS and trying to explain why I needed help and not making any sense at all
Telling him that help was on the way, yet realizing that he didn’t want help
Sitting by myself in the waiting room and hearing the news that he may not survive
Having to make the decision whether or not to resusitate him if his heart stopped beating

I honestly thought I could not survive what I have survived that day and since
Yet, I have with the help of God holding me securely in his arms
and friends reaching out EXACTLY when I needed it in so many ways
God sent someone to be with me when they were doing the final brain death evaluation
God sent someone that my husband and I knew from years ago to be the transplant liason
God sent dinner on nights that eating didn’t even enter my mind as necessary

He is still holding me in his arms and providing what I need to make it through each day
some days I don’t know what I need, yet someone is right there for me providing it
I have started a flamingo collection unknowingly, yet it makes me smile and think of him
Friends have texted when I am going down a hole of grief to help me from the brink
I have learned to let myself grieve when I can, but function when I need to
God has provided comfort that I had never imagined that I would need

There are days when my mantra is still “just one foot in front of the other”
There are days when I have no words for prayer and just lift up my heart to God
There are days when heaven seems so very hopeful and earth seems so hard
Yet, there are days………………..and I am indeed putting one foot in front of the other
I am so very thankful for the tribe of friends and family God has blessed me with
and I am more grateful than I can ever say for every one who has reached out 
to soothe my broken mama’s heart!