Tadzio of the Atlantic
(For Karen George)
A teenager on spring break
this strange bonanza
lying
on a beach towel, a
demigod
spendidly named
like a youthful nobleman
turning away from the world
toward the world’s reflection.
You see how my brain works,
captive rapture
not water but blood
surging through tympanic membranes,
time’s echo chamber.
The glory of the sea may be salt but the glory
of the mind is on my tongue—
but I’ve never touched it,
never will.
Let it glow with the light of unobtainable
secrets.
An erasure of “Glory-of-the-Atlantic,” parts 1 and 2, by Campbell McGrath, published in Poetry magazine, July 2024. You can read it at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/162701/glory-of-the-atlantic
22 thoughts on "Tadzio of the Atlantic"
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What a phenomenal erasure poem! The craft and precision you brought to this is marvelous. I especially love:
“Let it glow with the light of unobtainable
secrets.”
Damn. This poem is great!
Oh, how very nice. “You see how my brain works …” I marvel at the sensibilities that can see these poems tucked inside the lines of another.
Thank you, Kevin! Your erasure is a pleasure to read. Those last two lines really resonate:
“Let it glow with the light of unobtainable
secrets.”
Glad you were inspired to write an erasure. That’s part of what I love about Lexpomo. I’m really going to miss reading your all poems, and hearing your comments on mine.
Thanks, Karen—both for the inspiration to try this form and for your feedback yesterday, which helped a lot. And you’re right—this kind of thing wouldn’t happen without LexPoMo.
love the remembrance of Death in Venice, especially the last stanza
Thanks Gaby! I wasn’t sure how many folks would recognize the references to Thomas Mann’s novella, but it’s a favorite of mine and certainly germane here. Ich bin Aschenbach.
So many great movements here. I love “through tympanic membranes,/time’s echo chamber.” and “the glory/of the mind is/on my tongue—/but I’ve never touched it,” Shew!
Thanks Shaun! The mind does wander when one finds oneself on a beach in certain company 😏
Congratulations for your first erasure poem. Not surprisingly, it’s great.
Not water but blood/surging through tympanic membranes
Thanks Linda. I’m your biggest fan too.
Thanks for the link to “Glory-of-the-Atlantic,”. I read it after reading your erasure and am in awe. Love what you gleaned and how it settles!
Love the position of “lying’ which allows a double meaning in the word.
Love: light of unobtainable
secrets.
Thanks, Pam! Linda Bryant, Jay McCoy and I once interviewed Karen George on Kentucky Writers Roundtable about her erasure poems and she said she always tried not to echo or parallel the source poem’s meaning but, rather, to strike out on her own and produce something with a completely different meaning than that of the source poem. That stuck in my mind as I was writing this one. Invaluable.
Yes, Tod in Venedig comes through strongly for me, too. Beautiful work with a form I don’t know I’ll ever tackle!
Thanks Nancy!
Karen led me down the primrose path…
Kevin, I have gone to the shores of erasure poems but never got my tootsies wet. Glad you dove in, and so beautifully.too!
By the end of summer, you will have lifeguard status complete with whistle. Enjoyed your work this year!
The water’s fine, Sylvia!
I’m afraid my lifeguard status will have to wait, as sunshine on my skin cooks me like boiling a lobster.
I’ve loved your work too this month! I hope you’ll keep your two series going.
Great success in an erasure poem! I love doing erasure/strikeout poems. Tackling the puzzle of what goes and what stays is fascinating.
The glory of the sea may be salt but the glory
of the mind is on my tongue—
but I’ve never touched it,
never will.
Fascenating, this feels like a paradox.
time’s echo chamber.
This is the second poem today that speaks to the fluid nature of time and memory. Synchronicity? I’ll see if I find any more of these. 😉
Thanks ever so much for sharing this
Thanks, E.E.! Eros never quite goes away, does he, even when we’re far too old to meet him halfway …
Is “Tadzio” the name of a form, or is it an allusion to Thomas Mann?
The latter, Tom.
Feels very classical-Bullfinch-looking-back a thousand years from now. Erasure is such an interesting form—you do it well!
Thanks Bud!