Thanks for nothing
The morning misinforms
and mutes the early light
a hint to a somber day
Then the dull mask
falls off the sky
and light flows to surprise
Feel that sun, it caresses
like a mother bathing her baby
and the warmth is love
But then it presses down
on my softer being
and the burn licks the skin
A step into the shade
would keep the heat
in balance with the breeze
But I want more than offered
all aligned to my liking
so I retreat inside
and hoist gloom above me
returning the day’s gift
with petulance
8 thoughts on "Thanks for nothing"
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love how you extended the metaphor, the last word, though the title seems a bit dark
A consonance-happy poem through the “gloom” and “petulance”!
The “consonance-happy,” as Lisa described, is very satisfying. Yes, the end is a little dark but I appreciate that isn’t go on the path of a traditional poem.
Should read “doesn’t go”
My favorite part was the sun as mom imagery. I guess it’s kind of there in the word “sunbathing” but I never saw it before.
I enjoy the layers and levels of shade toward the end: the stepping into the shade while still being outside and the rejection of outside for the shade of the interior. Also, deeply appreciate the hoisting of gloom. Such a rarely hoisted noun!
great language, honest ending. Loved the contained form and the change in form in the last section that ends it. Very good!
so I retreat inside
and hoist gloom above me
I do this daily. What a humdinger. Hardly anyone admits to being a wet blanket.
Bravo.