my clothes are unpacked
my suitcase hasn’t moved from it’s spot
in the dusty attic storage space

the tickets haven’t been printed
I never got my passport updated

on my evening walk I thought I smelled
the airport,
soft chemicals, sweaty clothes,
and too much perfume and cologne

four years
saving,
waiting,
planning,
is too long
not to see family

the ocean stretches between us
and our flight will never cross it.