The Goldfish
Sometimes poetry leaps
from my pen, whale breaching
brine, but today it is an idle
goldfish trapped in my mind,
circling the confines
of its glass bowl, too feeble
to realize freedom
hovers inches above its empty
head, if only its bulging eyes
would look up.
10 thoughts on "The Goldfish"
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Love the internal rhyme here. That and the tight space of the piece create a circling feeling.
Thank you very much! I didn’t originally intend to insert internal rhyme into this piece, but it turned out nicely. Very serendipitous!
You managed to squeeze out some nice music here. That’s one thing I like about poetry. When the well’s run dry you can play around with words, make them do something and before you know it, you have a decent poem.
Thank you! I agree, poetry finds a way!
love the way your poem builds
Thank you!
This metaphor really works! Nice poem.
Thank you! It had been swimming around my head for a little while, and I knew yesterday was the time to release it!
This is wonderful: the internal rhyme, your diction, and metaphor! The build-up is great, and the last lines feel unexpected but in the best way. You captured a common, intangible feeling in an expressive, tangible way (which I feel is the essence of poetry). I read this multiple times — it’s lovely.
Thank you! I’m honored you’d take the time to reread this.😊