Mr. Takahashi was a retired groundskeeper and he loved to grow orchids. He had spent his whole working life at the hotel working in the greenhouse and driving around on the little isuzu three wheel buggy-car-truck thing making sure the plants had flowers on them.
the solarium
Mr. Takahashi’s dream
orchids didactic
He sold his orchids at my parents hardware store, would come around in his old grey Datsun pickup truck every two weeks and change out the plants in his own small immaculately organized section of the garden center behind the store. Garden center is a stretch. 2×6 boards run through 37 hollow blocks turned on end made benches, a random smattering of our own half dead plants made a fairly pitiful statement.
among tattered weeds
Takahashi’s flowers
bloom bright, smell like candy
There was an accounting of sorts between he and my mother. He would come in with his potted flowers stacked neatly in an old wooden coke bottle tray and trade out the blooming ones for the ones that were looking raggedy and then with a pencil, would write the prices of the old plants taken and the new ones that replaced them, note the ones that had sold in a very official looking spiral receipt book and leave it with one of us kids.
orchids in tin cans
you boys no make them wet feet
masking tape price tags
He is long gone now, I just thought it would be nice, to tell his story.
Nice haibun Coleman. 🙂
Thanks Manny. I like this 30 days thing. I learned something about myself on this poem. If i write the haiku first and build the story around them it cleans up the form, at least for me. It needs some polishing. I think it’s a keeper 🙂
making tape price tags!
thanks for sharing.
I really loved this, a beautiful use of form
Your hiabun moves from establishing shot to pull focus very well. Definitely a keeper! Can’t wait for the screenplay.
Funny what you can learn in a poem. I’ve known you for 24 years and I’m just now finding out about Mr. Takahashi.
Lol……you would know the stories I told you how taka would scold us when we killed his flowers with water….lol…
Love the form! Of course, it’s perfect that Mr. Takahashi gets a haibun!
Of course 🙂
Agree with those above, the form is wonderful. Nice one!
Love the way this haibun flows from prose to haiku and back again. In some I’ve read, there’s a lurch from one to the other that’s a little jarring. Yours flows like buttah.
Wow. That is high praise. Thank-you Kevin. I’ll take it.
Nicely done, Coleman.
What sweetness!