Every time I get better, I get worse

Every time you’re gone, you come back

Dragging yourself out of the muck

A discarded nightmare come back to haunt me

Eager to wrap your hands around my throat

And hear the melody I scream, your name

Ripped out of my body, my dignity

A masochistic wheel spins in my brain

It replays only you

Like a hot iron to skin

I hear it crack and screech

Feeling the pain

Watching it shrivel

I’m so scared of so much

You coming back

You leaving again

You staying away

But more than anything

I’m scared you’ll never leave me