The worst part

of taking off the nail polish

after a night out

or a weekend

or a vacation as myself

is not knowing

when I’ll get to be her again.

 

The thing I want more than

pierced ears

or dyed red hair

or maybe even breasts

is to have beautiful

polish on my fingernails

24/7.

 

A mani-pedi was

one of my first moments

of deep gender euphoria.

And, like an addict,

I’ve been chasing that high ever since.

For me, it never diminishes

until I have to get out

the acetone and cotton

and hide her beauty

again

until some unknown time.