To My Parents
Of all the things I owe you—
including my life & the care you took to raise me
until I could raise myself—
I owe you most of all
my sense of how fragile things are,
how quickly they can end,
how nothing lasts.
You didn’t last—
neither you, Daddy, from heart disease at 53,
raving in your hospital bed
about rats in the room,
nor you, Mama, at 46,
on your way to work, rounding a curve
into the glare of a brilliant sunrise
& the rear of a stopped school bus
carrying my brother.
I rushed home both times—
from Yellowstone, from Basic at Fort Knox—
but you’d taken it with you
into the dark.
I’m older now than either of you,
your faces mixed up in mine,
getting old as you might have
if you’d had the chance.
Sometimes I look at a photograph of you
before I was born,
leaning on each other in a dusty driveway—
each other’s pillar,
pillars to sons soon to come—
& give thanks that I’m no one’s pillar,
fragile as I am.
36 thoughts on "To My Parents"
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powerful poem but hard for me to swallow such a bittersweet ending
I’m sorry, Gaby.
Kevin, I have no words to describe your words. I do have a deep appreciation for your skill, gratitude that you shared this with us, and an ache you had to experience such loss. This is my favorite poem that I’ve seen from you this far—and they’re all good.
Thank you so much, Bud. I guess this was one of those times where you put away your bag of tricks and just say it. I’m glad it moved you.
Oh! Landed this like a shattering vase.
Oh!
Beautiful poem !!
Thanks Coleman! A shattered vase—a terrific metaphor, though we wouldn’t like it in real life 😏
This is so beautifully done, Kevin. It brings back to me the feelings I had when I “outlived” my mother and the sadness thinking of the time we didn’t have together. You have pieced together a delicate and sensitive elegy.
Thanks Nancy! It’s an almost universal experience, I guess, losing your parents and feeling lost. In some ways I wish they’d outlived me.
Wow, Kevin. Amazing poem. It’s your gentle voice with such emotional force. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Bill!
So vulnerable, loving, and haunting all at once.!
Thanks darlin.
I am in awe. This love, memory, frankness. Fragile. You just established a foundation as a pillar in my mind today to grow from Kevin. There is a wealth of truth in your unguarded appraisal. Much admiration and huge respect.
Thanks, Manny! I appreciate your words more than you can know.
There’s so much history packed in the poem’s background. Your mom crashing into the bus that carried your brother is devastating. Although the poem comes off as dark, I find your long-term survival
hopeful. The poem leaves me thinking about strength.
Thanks Linda. Yes, I guess 65 years qualifies as long term 😏 It’s good to have come this far.
Everyone else has said all the things I could think of to say about your writing and the immensity of this poem, so I will just say it brought me to tears, and thank you for sharing it.
Thanks darlin. Bless your tender heart.
This is heartbreaking and hopeful all at the same time. You walk us through memories and faces so intimately and beautifully. A gorgeous tribute.
Thanks, H.A.! You are very kind.
What a tender, haunting poem, Kevin. These lines really got me:
I’m older now than either of you,
your faces mixed up in mine,
Very effective repeat of “fragile.”
Thanks Karen!
powerful memories you carry and what you learned “my sense of how fragile things are,/how quickly they can end,/how nothing lasts.
these lines hold despair well:
Daddy, from heart disease at 53,/
raving in your hospital bed/about rats in the room,
Mama, at 46,/on your way to work, rounding a curve
into the glare of a brilliant sunrise/& the rear of a stopped /school bus/carrying my brother.
Love how the 4th stanza brings the circle around.
You honor your parents in this piece and share your most intimate reckonings well.
Thanks Pam. I appreciate this close reading.
Kevin – Very honest and profound walk on the sad dark side! Your last stanza makes me wonder about the pictures we see with our young parents. I always wished I could meet them at that age and get to know them then. There is fragility in your poem, but also great strength and insight. You are a kind man to share this!
Thanks Sylvia!
“I owe you most of all
my sense of how fragile things are”
Shew! I think that this is another example of your writing that shows great skill and also just a piece of the width and scope of your big heart.
Thanks Shaun! You’re extremely kind.
Beautiful. So visceral—I felt the ache of losing wonderful parents at such young ages. Parents so in love with life and each other. I do get a sense that you are your own pillar—perhaps fragile, but kind— and such a beautiful, strong poet.
Thanks Michele! It wasn’t fun, either of those losses. I still miss them.
“and give thanks that I’m no one’s pillar.” Gut punch. I admire your wisdom and your skill as a poet. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thanks E.E.!
Compelling, as usual. This one hits home for me, though our stories are different. I am feeling the fraility now more than ever.
Me too, Wayne. We’re getting old, ain’t we?
So beautiful and so poignant. Thank you for sharing, Kevin.
Powerful and honest. You’re getting into the deep places where all the juice is.