because you locked up faith and starved her of love
fed her only on scraps of shame and grief
said the sunlight on her skin was a sin and she must pay
must pay
because grace without groveling would offend pride
and your pride will be prized above all else I guess

it’s the way you won’t see that makes me crazy
mistaking the red mark your slap left on my cheek
for rouge

(one of many working drafts exploring my thoughts and pain related to the idea that leaving the church does not, for me, mean leaving faith, but grieving for all the harm done over thousands of years, and exploring what post-church faith looks like in my life)