the blue polish coating my nails is cracked. 
and the blue marker drawn on my mirror has begun to smear.
they hold remnants of you. 
like the small indent in the paint on my right pinky from where your finger slipped 
and the small curves in the way you write your letter a’s. 

i see the color blue behind my eyelids 
because 
the image of you drowning yourself 
haunts me, even in my sleep. 
and the blue flashing lights that showed up when you never resurfaced
keep me turning late into the early morning.

one day i’ll remove the polish 
and erase the marker
because i won’t need them 
to remember you anymore.